During a rally where he was expected to face indictment, Donald Trump labeled Joe Biden as a “Stalinist.” Initially, I found this comparison quite baffling, considering my familiarity with both Stalin and Biden. I couldn’t comprehend how Sleepy Joe could be in any way comparable to the Man of Steel. While I was tempted to dismiss this absurd parallel as nonsensical, something made me pause and reconsider.
Now, let’s give credit where it’s due—Trump is known for his intelligence. Who can forget how he single-handedly revolutionized science and exercise with his theory of “finite energy“? Thanks to Trump, I haven’t worked out in years, and I still get a chuckle seeing people wasting their limited energy at the gym.
Given this newfound appreciation for Trump’s genius, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and fulfill my role as a REAL Truth Seeker by uncovering how Joe Biden could possibly be Stalinist. So let’s grab our copies of “The Art of the Deal,” twist our red caps backward, and kickstart this investigation.
One possibility that might suggest Biden’s Stalinist tendencies is his announcement of a massive infrastructure plan aimed at revitalizing America’s crumbling roads, bridges, and water systems. We all know that one of Stalin’s notable achievements was the rapid industrialization of the Soviet Union during his tenure.
The USSR’s Five Year Plans successfully restructured agriculture, heavy industry, and the overall economy to improve the lives of its people. In less than 30 years, starting from a relatively poor conglomerate of nations, the USSR became the first to send a satellite into space.
Now, if we take a look at any recent appearances by Biden, it’s evident that he can’t even plan the next 30 seconds of his life, let alone concern himself with the state of our lives in the next five years. This might explain why the United States is falling behind in global infrastructure rankings.
Our government openly admits that our infrastructure is inadequate but offers vague statements that likely won’t lead to any significant improvements. Okay, so Trump’s accusation of Biden being Stalinist isn’t about his domestic infrastructure policies. But I’m not one to give up after hitting a dead end.
Has Joe Biden suddenly reversed his stance on the Ukraine-Russia conflict and started denouncing the Ukrainian military’s connections to Nazi groups like the Azov Battalion? If Stalin were alive today, I would assume he’d be against Azov, given this quote from 1931: “Anti-semitism is of advantage to the exploiters as a lightning conductor that deflects the blows aimed by the working people at capitalism… Hence Communists, as consistent internationalists, cannot but be irreconcilable, sworn enemies of anti-semitism.”
It seems Biden still supports Ukraine’s entry into NATO and pledges increased military aid since Ukraine began its counteroffensive. In contrast, Stalin dedicated himself to preventing the resurgence of Nazism during World War Two and witnessed Hitler’s downfall. Meanwhile, Joe Biden embraces and showcases neo-Nazis in Congress—the same group that Congress banned from receiving weapons in 2018, incidentally when Biden was not the President.
Who was the Vice President when the Maidan Coup occurred, further empowering neo-Nazis in Ukraine? Well, let’s not dwell on that; it’s probably not relevant.
At this point, you might think I’m starting to panic. Is Biden really not a Stalinist? If he isn’t following Stalin’s model of unleashing the nation’s production forces to improve the lives of Americans, and he continues to support neo-Nazis while Stalin sought to eradicate them, then what could Trump be referring to?
If it’s not about domestic or foreign policies, then perhaps Trump’s accusation revolves around Biden’s personal life and his role as a father and role model for his children. But was Stalin a terrible father who raised a pedophilic crack addict that tarnished his reputation?
Well, it turns out that Stalin’s sons were actually fighters against Nazism, actively contributing during World War Two and leading successful and dignified lives if they survived. After conducting thorough research, it seems that the only commonality between these two figures is their first names. If Biden were truly Stalinist, maybe we would see improvements in infrastructure and a new system of land and property ownership. Who wouldn’t want that?
Perhaps it’s time for me to find a new hat and renew my gym membership, as the quest to prove Biden’s alleged Stalinist tendencies has reached a dead end.
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